Breaking up with a Moscow coffee shop
Listen Bucer’s, we need to talk. This has been escalating for a few months now, and I think we need to get all the cards out on the table once and for all. I’m sure you’ve noticed the signs. We don’t talk, we don’t see each other much any more, we’ve been slowly drifting apart. I think it’s finally time to say goodbye.
No, no listen, it isn’t you Bucer’s, if it’s anybody it’s me. It was really amazing at first, we were totally into the same things. You like good music and books and you’ve got quite a collection of art. It’s great that you serve alcohol, and you know you’ve got some of the best coffee drinks I’ve ever had. It’s just that…well to be perfectly honest I’ve met someone else.
Yes, I know you know who it is, don’t be like that. One World will never replace you. I’m not replacing you. It’s just that One World offers me all the things I want in a café right now. You both have wireless and you’re both great places to study and read, but I never really got along with your patrons or your staff. It’s not like I don’t like them, because I do, I just can’t really talk to them. We don’t connect. They’re all classical music composition majors and Christians and they're really hard for me to relate to. I can’t say I didn’t try. I went out with them a couple times, I even karaoked with them, but you know how they are. They’re kind of pretentious. And I liked that at first. But One World is just so fresh and new. They have an awesome sense of fashion, the people that work there like to talk to me and their live bands aren’t always jazz. I like Vivaldi just as much as you do, but it’s not the only thing I listen to. Plus they actually sell their art.
I’m sorry. That was mean. But listen, you know this wouldn’t last forever. I’m just not your type. I’m too young, too brash. And look at you, you’re perfect for a college town. It’s not like you won’t find someone else. I’m sure you’ll find a brilliant literature professor who listens to Charles Ives and wears tweed and scarves, and you’ll be much better off. Yeah, I feel bad too. I’ll miss you Bucer’s, but really, this is for the best. Really.
No, no listen, it isn’t you Bucer’s, if it’s anybody it’s me. It was really amazing at first, we were totally into the same things. You like good music and books and you’ve got quite a collection of art. It’s great that you serve alcohol, and you know you’ve got some of the best coffee drinks I’ve ever had. It’s just that…well to be perfectly honest I’ve met someone else.
Yes, I know you know who it is, don’t be like that. One World will never replace you. I’m not replacing you. It’s just that One World offers me all the things I want in a café right now. You both have wireless and you’re both great places to study and read, but I never really got along with your patrons or your staff. It’s not like I don’t like them, because I do, I just can’t really talk to them. We don’t connect. They’re all classical music composition majors and Christians and they're really hard for me to relate to. I can’t say I didn’t try. I went out with them a couple times, I even karaoked with them, but you know how they are. They’re kind of pretentious. And I liked that at first. But One World is just so fresh and new. They have an awesome sense of fashion, the people that work there like to talk to me and their live bands aren’t always jazz. I like Vivaldi just as much as you do, but it’s not the only thing I listen to. Plus they actually sell their art.
I’m sorry. That was mean. But listen, you know this wouldn’t last forever. I’m just not your type. I’m too young, too brash. And look at you, you’re perfect for a college town. It’s not like you won’t find someone else. I’m sure you’ll find a brilliant literature professor who listens to Charles Ives and wears tweed and scarves, and you’ll be much better off. Yeah, I feel bad too. I’ll miss you Bucer’s, but really, this is for the best. Really.
posted by sean_garmire at 12:42 AM
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