The Ant Gang
Anthony Ant is a son of a bitch.
In fact, all of the ants are sons of bitches. They smell fucking awful, and none of them have any common sense whatsoever. I see them, in the middle of the day, getting drunk down by the pool. That might be okay every now and then, but they don’t just do it once a month, they do it every single day.
They’ve been congregating by the pool because that’s where their larder is. It’s in a crack in the cement. A pile of dirt pellets, wood shavings and feces spills out onto the brick walkway all around. You have to step over it just to get into the pool.
This morning I woke up to them laughing. They were already drinking at 8:24 in the morning. When I walked outside to eat an avocado one of the ants, Leon, told me he had been up all night, because he had smoked some “ice.”
And that isn’t even the half of it.
But the worst part is that the pool is such a great spot to swim or study, or just get some sun. The water is cold and salty, but now that it’s warming up it feels great to go for a swim. It would be so nice to jump in after climbing the hill after school. But whenever I walk in through the gate to the pool the ants are there, lounging around, drinking beer out of cans that rest on their thoraxes.
Two weeks ago I walked out of the gates with eight egg shaped bites on my back. As you probably guessed it was Anthony. His poisonous mandibles pierced my back while I lay in the grass. No where--I might add,--near his nest. That was the last straw.
Oh yeah, one more thing. Yesterday I bought a magnifying glass, today the sun is shining brightly, and I just noticed that there are some ants down by the pool right now. I think I'm going to go get my towel.
In fact, all of the ants are sons of bitches. They smell fucking awful, and none of them have any common sense whatsoever. I see them, in the middle of the day, getting drunk down by the pool. That might be okay every now and then, but they don’t just do it once a month, they do it every single day.
They’ve been congregating by the pool because that’s where their larder is. It’s in a crack in the cement. A pile of dirt pellets, wood shavings and feces spills out onto the brick walkway all around. You have to step over it just to get into the pool.
This morning I woke up to them laughing. They were already drinking at 8:24 in the morning. When I walked outside to eat an avocado one of the ants, Leon, told me he had been up all night, because he had smoked some “ice.”
And that isn’t even the half of it.
But the worst part is that the pool is such a great spot to swim or study, or just get some sun. The water is cold and salty, but now that it’s warming up it feels great to go for a swim. It would be so nice to jump in after climbing the hill after school. But whenever I walk in through the gate to the pool the ants are there, lounging around, drinking beer out of cans that rest on their thoraxes.
Two weeks ago I walked out of the gates with eight egg shaped bites on my back. As you probably guessed it was Anthony. His poisonous mandibles pierced my back while I lay in the grass. No where--I might add,--near his nest. That was the last straw.
Oh yeah, one more thing. Yesterday I bought a magnifying glass, today the sun is shining brightly, and I just noticed that there are some ants down by the pool right now. I think I'm going to go get my towel.
posted by sean_garmire at 11:58 AM
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