Monsanto Corporation Public Perception Amelioration Campaign
Advertisement 1:
Knowledgeable Male: Are you tired of creating unpleasant odors in your bathrooms at home or at work? Sick of embarrassing moments brought on by foul smelling digestive problems? Tired of lighting matches during a romantic night to cover up your shame? Well, now you don’t need to be!
Thanks to the hardworking scientists at Monsanto, there’s a new line of products in the produce isle at you grocery store. Eat them and they’ll make your bowel movements smell delicious!
Take this apple for example (picks up an apple). It looks just like an apple, it tastes just like an apple. But when it passes through your digestive system your movement will smell just like Fresh Lemon! Don’t like the smell of lemons? That’s fine, this new produce comes in all sorts of smells: Grape, Pine, Fresh Lemon, Ham, Coffee, Fecal Matter, and Berry Blast! Imagine that, making your toilet and bathroom smell as fresh and clean as a pine forest, all from eating an apple!
Don’t like eating apples? That’s not a problem either. Try this new feature in Monsanto brand grapes, onions, carrots, bok choy, wheat germ, and beef steak!
Just look for the BM-Good seal of approval.
Pleasant Housewife (holding mop): When I made steaks last night, I thought I had my work cut out for me today. But you know what? I walked into the bathroom this morning, and the toilet smelled lemon fresh! That’s when I realized I bought Monsanto’s new BM-Good steaks. They tasted delicious, and guess what? They made my job a whole lot easier (gives knowing smile).
Enthusiastic Boy #1 (standing at toilet): Wow, mine smells like grape! I can’t wait to show my friends, thanks Monsanto!
Knowledgeable Male: Just think, no more offensive odors, no more embarrassing dates. Monsanto scientists are hard at work to bring the consumer more ways to live better.
Just look for the BM-Good seal of approval in your grocery store produce isle.
Knowledgeable Male: Are you tired of creating unpleasant odors in your bathrooms at home or at work? Sick of embarrassing moments brought on by foul smelling digestive problems? Tired of lighting matches during a romantic night to cover up your shame? Well, now you don’t need to be!
Thanks to the hardworking scientists at Monsanto, there’s a new line of products in the produce isle at you grocery store. Eat them and they’ll make your bowel movements smell delicious!
Take this apple for example (picks up an apple). It looks just like an apple, it tastes just like an apple. But when it passes through your digestive system your movement will smell just like Fresh Lemon! Don’t like the smell of lemons? That’s fine, this new produce comes in all sorts of smells: Grape, Pine, Fresh Lemon, Ham, Coffee, Fecal Matter, and Berry Blast! Imagine that, making your toilet and bathroom smell as fresh and clean as a pine forest, all from eating an apple!
Don’t like eating apples? That’s not a problem either. Try this new feature in Monsanto brand grapes, onions, carrots, bok choy, wheat germ, and beef steak!
Just look for the BM-Good seal of approval.
Pleasant Housewife (holding mop): When I made steaks last night, I thought I had my work cut out for me today. But you know what? I walked into the bathroom this morning, and the toilet smelled lemon fresh! That’s when I realized I bought Monsanto’s new BM-Good steaks. They tasted delicious, and guess what? They made my job a whole lot easier (gives knowing smile).
Enthusiastic Boy #1 (standing at toilet): Wow, mine smells like grape! I can’t wait to show my friends, thanks Monsanto!
Knowledgeable Male: Just think, no more offensive odors, no more embarrassing dates. Monsanto scientists are hard at work to bring the consumer more ways to live better.
Just look for the BM-Good seal of approval in your grocery store produce isle.
posted by sean_garmire at 1:12 AM
1 Comments:
We all need some of that.
Thanks, Monsanto!
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